Flirting Public Service Announcement
Why Nancy Mace should be rock bottom for all men.
Author Michael Eric Dyson received a lesson last week that many before him have experienced, although his was in an unusual forum. It occurred during a U.S. House Oversight and Accountability committee hearing. While wearing a cleavage revealing, all white outfit that would make villain Lex Luthor proud, Republican South Carolina Representative Nancy Mace entered flirtatious text messages she received from Dyson into the official record.
It came after the two clashed when they appeared on the same panel during a CNN segment in August. Mace mispronounced the name of Vice President Kamala Harris, prompting Dyson to imply that she was being racist. Dyson took pictures with Mace after the segment and followed that with the below exchange.
Mace used the text messages to challenge the sincerity of Dyson’s outrage from that television appearance and embarrass Dyson for “coming on” to her after the incident. Places like Politico can handle the former, though probably best if they assign it to someone other than their Chief Washington Correspondent, Ryan Lizza. (More on that later.)
The latter is of concern for this piece. It begins with two questions.
Dear men,
It’s 2024: Why are you still messaging women? How many more guys do you need to see publicly crash and burn? Stop sexting, stop texting. No more sliding into a woman’s DMs. Every time you even think about laying fingers to keys or a screen, remember the words of that old guy who tried to pretend he was Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars sequel.
What’s the difference between modern men and sailors from Greek mythology? Those sailors understood what a siren was. A beautiful woman could take you off course and lead you to your death. Where sirens relied upon the seduction of song, modern women have any number of thirst traps they can set to lead a man to ruin.
You may argue that Nancy Mace doesn’t meet the beauty standard of a siren. She would not stand out in places where the hottest of hot women convene, like South Beach in Miami, Vegas nightclubs or the Target store on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. However, in the worlds that Dyson frequents - academia and politics - Nancy Mace qualifies as a straight up smoke show.
I’m not saying Mace is to blame for Dyson’s unwanted advances. He alone is responsible for chasing the siren’s call instead of dropping sail and turning around. He should have known how dangerous said smoke show could be. Setting aside her beauty, Representative Mace is also someone who:
Was one of the 8 Republicans that took out the Republican Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy.
Wore a Scarlett Letter shirt following the McCarthy vote as an “F-U” to fellow Republicans shunning her over that action.
Once told a room full of Christians that she was almost late to their prayer breakfast because of pre-marital sex. “When I woke up this morning at seven, I was getting picked up at 7:45. Patrick, my fiancé, tried to pull me by my waist over this morning in bed and I was like, ‘No, baby, we don’t got time for that this morning. I got to get to the prayer breakfast and I got to be on time.’” 1
Would later brag about dumping that fiancé after finding him on a dating app and was accused of frequently talking about her sex life with her staff. 2
For crying out loud, her last name is Mace. Historically, a heavy club with a spike filled metal head. Now it’s a spray used primarily by women to incapacitate men. If a screenwriter gave her that name in a script, we’d call it too on the nose.
I wouldn't if I were you
I know what she can do
She's deadly, man
And she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter
Ooh, the beauty is there
But a beast is in the heartOh-oh, here she comes
Watch out, boy, she'll chew you up
Oh-oh, here she comes
She's a man-eater
(“Maneater,” Hall & Oates)
It’s difficult to understand how the thrice married Dyson convinced himself that any of his advances were a good idea. Who thinks the time to ask a woman for a selfie is after you ridicule her on national television?
Or holding a woman this close to you when you’ve only just met her at a work function where you broke the ice by calling her a racist?
Dyson drove past multiple warning signs before he crashed and burned. Even artificial intelligence knows the “HaHa” tapback bubble, more times than not, is a sign of awkwardness, ambivalence or downright annoyance.
Nevertheless, he persisted.
One can imagine the excitement when Dyson believed Mace was really heating things up by escalating from the tapback “haha” bubble to actually typing “hahahahaha.”
More embarrassing is that the best line this professional author could offer was, “your gorgeousness makes the photos.” You may argue in his defense that his advances were rather benign in nature. Dyson said nothing overtly sexual: no picture of his penis was sent. That actually makes it worse. Can you imagine a sexy, manly construction worker following up his catcall by saying “Your gorgeousness makes that sidewalk?”
Dear men,
There’s a simple rule you should follow when communicating with a woman in written form: Assume that she is not attracted to you in any way and know with every fiber of your being that there is no scenario where you might engage in any form of sexual activity.
No, I’m absolutely not telling you that there’s a chance.
What about my coworker that exchanges flirtatious messages with me all day?
She doesn’t do it on the weekends, right? That’s because every time you send a message, she has to be at work to share it with her female bestie so they can laugh at what you wrote.
What about that hot woman who has her own Substack and messaged me to say how much she likes my writing?
The only thing she wants you to tap is her… Subscribe button.
Ok, I think I hear you. But what if a woman sends me naked pictures and/or videos of herself?
There is no “coast is clear” moment and if you doubt that, just ask RFK Jr.
Do you recall earlier when I said Politico’s Ryan Lizza shouldn’t cover the Nancy Mace incident? Last week we also found out Lizza’s fiancé ex-fiancé had a secret sexting relationship with RFK Jr. The woman in question is Olivia Nuzzi, the now suspended reporter for New York Magazine.
Well worth checking out is Jessica Reed Kraus’ excellent Substack piece from Saturday, “The Talented Ms. Nuzzi.” Kraus is personally acquainted with Nuzzi and also covered the Kennedy campaign. She shares insight into her relationship with Nuzzi and provides the Kennedy perspective (spin?) on the sexting.3
Friends of Kennedy believe Nuzzi set him up. They recount that just two weeks after New York Magazine published her article, she made a flirtatious remark during a phone conversation. In response, Kennedy blocked her number. A few weeks later, Nuzzi emailed him, asking to be unblocked, claiming she had urgent information about a hit piece being prepared against him. He unblocked her for that conversation, but later that night, she sent him a provocative picture, prompting him to block her again.
For most of the next 8 months, Kennedy kept her blocked, except for a few occasions when Nuzzi contacted him from different emails and phone numbers, insisting he unblock her for urgent discussions about an imminent hit piece. Once unblocked, she bombarded him with increasingly pornographic photos and videos that he found difficult to resist. After brief exchanges, he would block her again.
Kraus also talked to security expert Gavin de Becker, who has been tasked by Kennedy to investigate the situation for possible litigation.
This had nothing to do with romance,” said de Becker. “He was being chased by porn.”
“Chased by porn” is one hell of a phrase. Kennedy has somehow turned the old “Don’t. Stop. Don’t. Stop. Don’t stop!” into a defense for his actions.
Nevertheless, he relented.
While it may be mostly or even fully true, for now it reminds me of the 1994 film Disclosure. The movie gender swapped traditional roles by having Demi Moore play a boss who sexually harasses an employee, played by legendary lothario, Michael “I got throat cancer after performing too much oral sex on women” Douglas. Despite character motives, plot development and a scene explicitly showing Moore seduce a reluctant Douglas, it was still difficult to accept that he was the one being taken advantage of.
That’s the problem for Kennedy or any man. Once you click “send” you lose control to public perception forever. It can become a screenshot shared with your coworkers. Nancy Mace can crop part of the conversation out and enter the rest into the official record of the United States Congress. Even a harmonious relationship may one day turn sour, and when it does those old texts can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion.
Dear Men,
It is for these reasons that you should stop sending unwanted and/or unexpected salacious messages to women.
P.S. Oh, also because it’s disrespectful to women.
P.P.S. The views and opinions expressed by the author of this piece do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the author of this piece. Women should feel free to send their pornographic images or video. Chase away, ladies.
Wow... maddness out there!