Christmas Cuckold? I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

An Iffy Lyrical Analysis & Deep Dive into Writer Tommie Connor

Written by Tommie Connor in 1952, the accepted interpretation for “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” remains that it is a joke about mistaken identity when a father dresses as Santa. Though it has a longstanding place in holiday tradition, a haunting question has lingered just beneath the surface.

Is one of the most iconic Christmas songs really about a son and his cuckold father?

With a look at the lyrics, societal response and the writer himself, it is time to attempt to answer this question by engaging in more analysis on the subject than anyone has ever attempted or ever saw the point of attempting.

The Lyrics

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.”

A young child (presumably a boy, as the original singer in 1952 was thirteen year old Jimmy Boyd) is confronted with adultery, something even many adults would struggle processing. As his mother kisses a man other than his father, this innocent young boy watches the most important person in his life betray the other most important person in his life.

“She didn't see me sneak downstairs to have a peep."

This line conveys the sexual confusion felt by the boy as he internalizes the depravity of the moment and, in a desperate attempt to adapt, emphasizes his own inappropriate activity. “Sneak” implies that he approached in a deceitful, unsolicited manner while “having a peep” can be understood as an act of voyeurism. The only way the boy can deal with the carnal environment is to believe himself to be a co-conspirator in the whole sordid affair. As the boy matures and has his own romantic relationships, he will likely experience a confusing mix of fear and arousal while imagining scenarios where women cheat on him.

"Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Clause underneath his beard so snowy white."

The use of “snowy” as a description for the white beard symbolizes the prowess of this male figure as well as the wealth and power that accompanies it. It is not enough that Santa's beard is white; it must be like snow, a substance which seems almost magical to a child. After all, in a boy’s mind, no man is more rich than the one who can afford toys for every child in the world, no man more powerful than the one who commands the attention of the entire world every December and no man more magical than the one who can visit every home in a single night. How could his father possibly compete with this alpha male who ranks as a superior sexual mate in every way? The lesson learned is that no matter how much his father loves his mother or how well he treats her, a woman will always lust for a more dominant male. But the final blow may be most devastating:

"Oh what a laugh it would have been if daddy had only seen mommy kissing Santa Claus."

There is no scenario where the father would be sharing in the laughter over his wife kissing another man and we already know the boy is seeking acceptance from these nefarious people by characterizing his sneaking and peeking as equally wicked. Now, in some perverted Stockholm Syndrome mutation, the boy’s only recourse is to go further by imagining himself partnering with the adulterers (Mommy, S. Claus) to laugh at his cuckold father.

The Societal Response

Many have joked about the questionable content of the song. Spike Jones recorded a parody version called “I Saw Mommy Screwing Santa Claus.” Scarlett Johansson once appeared in a Saturday Night Live skit as a mother kissing and seducing Santa Claus while the husband watched and encouraged them to continue.

Even in sincere covers of the song, artists have often added the following to the beginning:

"For Johnny has a secret, and his secret he must share
He wants to tell somebody
So he tells his teddy bear."

These lines suggest this is a secret so horrifying that there is no person it could be shared with. The boy is forced to create a delusion that his teddy bear is alive just to have something to confide in and cope with the trauma.

Perhaps these reactions to the song could all be attributed to overactive imaginations. After all, nobody can derive intention without a pattern and this is just one song.

Except it isn’t just one song.

The Writer

In 1937, fifteen years before “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” Tommie Connor wrote “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot.”

“In the street he envies all those lucky boys,
Then wanders home to last year's broken toys.
I'm so sorry for that laddie,
He hasn't got a daddy.
The little boy that Santa Claus forgot.”

Not yet ready to explore the traumatic event itself, perhaps Connor first wrote about the aftermath for the child from I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. That boy envies all the “lucky” boys who did not have their innocence stolen and he wanders home to “last year’s broken toys,” an allusion to his corrupted psyche and disrupted home life.

We feel sympathy for the “laddie” because we learn two things. First, he hasn’t got a daddy (who presumably left his wife after discovering the affair, abandoning his son in the process). Second, “The little boy that Santa Claus forgot” line tells us the affair was likely brief and Santa, having “hit it and quit it,” has no reason to return to see the child.

If this was an informercial, the next line would be “But that’s not all!”

Two years later Connor reportedly co-wrote “I’m Sending a Letter to Santa” under the pseudonym Lanny Rogers.

“I’m sending a letter to Santa Claus,
My letter I hope he’ll receive.
Oh, I wonder if he will please remember me
When he calls on Christmas Eve.

He’ll get a lot of letters for playthings
From other girls and boys.
But I want my soldier daddy,
He’s better than all the toys.
And so I’m sending my letter to Santa Claus
To bring daddy safely home to me.”

We again find the boy longing for acknowledgment by the Santa who has forgotten him and a return of the father that abandoned him, all while constructing a delusion that his father is away at war rather than having run away after being cuckolded.

One may be inconclusive. Two could be a coincidence. Three is a trilogy.

It could be argued that the holiday theme within all of the songs complicate any attempt to interpret meaning. It can just be Christmasy without cuckoldry.

In 1956, four years after I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa, Connor wrote “Giver Her My Love When You Meet Her.”

“A soldier was off on his furlough,
His friend said, "I wish that I were you!
When you reach home and meet my lovely sweetheart,
Here's something I'm asking you to do!"

Give her my love when you meet her,
Although we are oceans apart;
Yes, give her a kiss when you greet her,
And say that it comes from my heart!”

Full disclosure, toward the end of the song it is revealed that the solider is dating his friend’s younger sister.

“Remember to tell her I missed her,
And say that I'll always be true'
Yes, I'll always love your little sister,
And like me, I know you love her too!”

However, Connor actually co-wrote the song with Michael Reine and Leslie Baguley. It begs the question, did Michael and/or Leslie insist on adding the lines about the sister to soften the subject matter? Regardless of who wrote what, the best case scenario interpretation would still only be that the song explored a cuckold theme but used it as misdirection for a “gotcha” conclusion that conveniently allowed an escape from accountability for presenting the cuckold topic. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, redux.

Finally, if you require any further evidence for Connor’s fascination with the salacious, then know this; Connor was a callboy in London during his teenage years.

To be fair he was not a callboy prostitute but a callboy stagehand in the theater. Still, lots of kinky stuff tends to happen around actors in theaters.

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